It's no secret, Britain's got some odd museums

By Kate Simon

Nothing is too trivial to be the subject of a tourist attraction in Britain. I’ve just been in the Lake District researching our upcoming book and top of my list wasn’t the chance to climb Helvellyn or take a cruise on Windermere but to visit the Derwent Pencil Museum in Keswick.

I love spending an hour browsing the shelves of a stationery shop – all that pristine paper in different shapes and sizes, all those neatly stacked bundles of stylus, brush and ballpoint pens. But a museum dedicated to pencils? Even a papyrophiliac like me (there’s a name for us) has got to raise an eyebrow at such a notion.

Keswick, it seems, is the centre of the pencil universe thanks to the discovery of graphite in Borrowdale in the 1600s, the fine quality of which was brought to the attention of the world by German miners the Hochstetter brothers, who some also credit with the invention of the Cumberland sausage.

It is a fascinating exhibition that not only tells the history of how graphite has been employed down the centuries – first by local shepherds to mark their sheep – but reveals some curious uses. Did you know Q from James Bond was based on a man who took the humble form of the pencil to hide a secret map and compass for agents in the field in the Second World War?

Let’s draw a line under the pencil museum for now, you can read more about it in our book. You see, it’s not alone; Britain specialises in oddball attractions.

How about the British Lawnmower Museum, which features ‘Lawnmowers of the Rich and Famous’, including a specimen we are to believe Charles and Diana pushed around their garden. It’s in Southport, a long way from the home of the lawnmower, which is in the Cotswolds – but more about that, you guessed it, in the book.

Keeping it random, there’s a Bubblecar Museum near Boston in Lincolnshire. Vehicles with engines of less than 0.7L  became all the rage when the oil crisis hit in the Fifties and Sixties. Here, they’ll even take you out for a ride in one of these dinky engineering marvels.

You’ll find The Museum of Classic Sci-Fi, a testament to one man’s love of the genre, in Allendale, Northumberland. Trekkies and Whovians from the world over make pilgrimages to this attraction, which is easy to spot thanks to the life-sized Dalek outside the front door.

Dog collars, seaside postcards, teapots, no subject is too niche. But I’m sad to report that the Clowns’ Gallery and Museum is no more. A selection of more than 250 ceramic eggs painted with the likenesses of professional clowns – the Egg Register – used to be on display in Holy Trinity church in Dalston, London.

And you’ve just missed seeing clowns in their slapstick and fright wigs pay their tributes to the greatest joey of them all, Joseph Grimaldi, at the 78th annual Clown Service, which was held last Sunday (4 February) at nearby All Saints Church in Haggerston. Never mind – you can read about it in the book. 

Phil’s Beer Notes

Once you’ve sharpened your appetite for a beer at the pencil museum, Keswick Brewery is just a little way along the river and the on-site Fox Tap is a pleasant spot to sample a good range of cask and craft brews on draught.

Visitors to the Lawnmower Museum might cut along to the deceptively-named Guest House in Southport. A listed Edwardian pub, it has plenty of cask beers to choose from while you admire the architecture.

After you’ve had your fill of bubble cars, savour the bubbles in the head of your beer at Boston’s most famous cask ale pub, the Eagle. Owned by Nottingham’s Castle Rock Brewery, you’ll find up to 11 pumps pouring here.

It’s only a short trek from the Sci-Fi Museum to the Lion House in Allendale where you can usually find a pint of the local Allendale Brewery’s beer on cask.

Photo © Derwent Pencil Museum